Hi friends

“Honestly, I'm really devastated to have lost”: these are the words of Naomi Osaka (former world No. 1) after her defeat against Caroline Garcia in Miami in 2024.

These are strong words that personally appeal to me and resonate within me: this feeling of being devastated is common among many tennis players. I have experienced it myself several times.

I suggest you try to understand this feeling and see how to respond to it.

Let's first try to understand why we feel devastated? Why does a defeat affect us so much?

We arrive on the field, fresh and ready, full of hope, with a precise objective: Win! and we believe in ourselves...

Then we play our match and it doesn't go the way we wanted...
we then leave with defeat and disillusionment: Our hopes have not been "fulfilled" and our beliefs collapse: it is disappointment...

We then focus a lot on what we missed...

• We have the impression that we could have done better... "the opponent was takeable"
• We have the feeling of not having achieved the goal(s) that we had personally set for ourselves
• The feeling of not having known how to properly manage our match/our game
• The feeling of not having been up to the task, that of being "worthless".

So internally we devalue ourselves, we question ourselves...
We put so much into our tennis, our training, our preparation... We spent a lot of time there...

and there at this moment T: “the result is not there…”

at the time we have the impression that everything we have done has been for nothing... It's hard to take, it's a deep challenge (and relative to our personal investment).

Why is it so deep?

The fact is that in this individual sport (on the court in any case) that is tennis: each point, each shot is somewhere a technical feat: Anticipation, placement, footwork, preparation of the shot, coordination; relaxation, intention of play... Each shot played is a challenge that we take on,
a test that we put ourselves to as a self-assessment of ourselves... and somewhere we expect a lot from ourselves!

Also

• If we succeed well, we are proud of ourselves, we value ourselves
• If we miss the shot, we devalue ourselves

And our tennis is psychologically enormously invested in our “person”: It may seem twisted but to explain it “simply”:

• A work of art (music / painting, etc.) is an expression of the feelings / emotions / feelings / personality of its author....
• Playing tennis is also an expression of the player's feelings / emotions / felt / personality... In short, expresses what we are through our tennis, we talk about ourselves and what we are... We define ourselves enormously through our tennis.

Also like every shot played, there is a challenge to overcome; a match is logically psychologically experienced as a global test of one's own person, a test of the personal image one has of oneself: "self-esteem"

In the end, playing a match amounts to putting on the table the question of its value: Is
Do I have value or not? ... (It must be said, there is a great masochistic side to tennis, some psychologists even made it the subject of their dissertation).

In short, if you have followed me this far, you will have understood that systematically putting self-esteem on the table can hurt in the end... and that is why a Defeat in tennis can be devastating, as Naomie Osaka said so well.

How to deal with feeling devastated after a defeat?

It is in these moments that the champion in you must wake up and reveal itself. What will make you a champion is not only your ability to win,
it is above all your ability to get up and persevere in difficult times: “The tennis player is a persevering warrior” (Quote from Raphael Nadal)

You just took a good slap: You are a warrior: Get up and go back into battle! [Eat a mars and go again!! ;)].... ok that's easy to say, we'll try to find some tools to cope and get back on track

First of all, I think that pre-match work can minimize the impact of a defeat:

Before starting a match, set yourself several objectives: Example:

• Win (basic ok)
• Successfully perform crosscourt forehands -
• Manage to remain calm throughout the match
• Succeed in this...achieve that...

At the end of the match you will certainly have achieved one or more of your objectives, this will present itself as a small victory in defeat... moreover we often say: "In tennis there is no defeat: There is has victories and learning":

Right now: Find a mental refuge

You just lost your match just now: you are devastated.
You are experiencing instantaneous feelings, experiencing emotions, you are not lucid, you are not yourself... In this context I recommend that you activate the "mental refuge" mode

First of all, you need to be aware that you are experiencing emotion. This is the point of lucidity you need to have to stay in control.
From there, you will react completely and take refuge in a few "basic rules of behavior that you have set for yourself" (A procedure to follow stupidly and stupidly without thinking: "militarily")

For example for me: (I play in 4th series)

It's match point: I just lost and I'm devastated... (and at the time quite angry internally)

At that moment I am aware that I am on the verge of emotion... (I put my "procedure" in place)

1. I will shake the opponent's hand while smiling and congratulating him
2. I will calmly put my things away, I do not discuss with the opponent and if he discusses with me, I kindly respond “yes” to his comments but I do not comment on anything myself.
3. I leave the field and I will give the score to the referee.
   If the adversary offers me a drink, I have a drink with him but I don't discuss the match or I kindly respond "yes" to his comments but I don't comment on anything myself.
4. I thank my opponent and the JA then I go home, playing some good music on the way back.

(Basically I say to myself: “Shut up, stay cool and go home, you will digest all this at home.)

Afterwards, everyone has their own personalized protocol... the key is to successfully put in place a personal procedure so as not to explode on the spot of emotion.

At the moment T + 1: The time for digestion and self-evaluation

That's it, you've returned home (or to the hotel), you're still internally devastated. You now need to digest your match and get back on track.
For this step, each player has their own protocol and if you don't have one I invite you to put one in place.

• Personally, I need to return to hitting the ball in training mode as quickly as possible. It helps me regain my confidence, and it allows me to let off steam.
• Some will sit on their game console and play FIFA for an hour, it allows them to clear their heads and clear their minds.
• Some will talk with friends, relatives...
• ...

This is also the time when you need to take a step back and put things into perspective.

• Be lenient with yourself... take care of yourself mentally: You're not that bad...
• Remember that in tennis we lose more often than we win: There will be other matches, there will be other difficult moments... You have to accept it, you have to behave like a warrior, as a champion and understand that it's part of the process: you have to get back up and continue to progress.
• You also have to see that in the match there were not only bad things... You obviously pulled off some good moves: think about it.
• You must remember that there is no defeat but rather learning.
• You lost a match: perfect, take it as a challenge to take on... arm yourself with patience, persevere, progress in your game... victory will come in due time: give yourself time...

At the moment T + 2: Consolidate yourself so as not to feel devastated.

Have you ever seen Carlos Alcaraz devastated after a defeat?
Disappointed yes, a little defeated yes, but personally I have never seen him "devastated"... Carlos in Carras and the kind of player who can severely lose a match and almost come out with a smile...

The mental strength of this type of player is a considerable asset and believe
For me it needs to be worked on, I am convinced that Carlos Alcaraz works a lot on his mind, I am convinced that he has mental weapons in the same way that he has a forehand or a backhand to handle all situations....